Five Tips for Restaurant Dates

Tip #1. Never take your date to a fast food restaurant where there is a high chance the staff spit on the food. The only saliva in your date's mouth should be yours and theirs. Find a place more upscale where you are expected to tip the waiter.

Tip #2. On a first date men and women should do two things:

(1) Split the bill at the restaurant; (Arguably the best way to split the bill is to bring cash, although some people prefer debit or credit. Bring both.)

(2) Understand that if a man pays for everything and then expects a woman to automatically have sex with him, that basically makes her a prostitute. By splitting the bill (going Dutch) it also makes it clear the woman is interested in the man, and not in his money. If the man pays for everything and becomes really pushy about having sex, that coerciveness technically makes any sex that follows to legally count as "date rape". Smart women pay half. Smart men who want to be loved for being themselves, and not resort to paying for sex / date rape, should also pay half. And if a woman doesn't like it when a man wants to go Dutch, that woman is a golddigger and not worth dating.

Traditionalists may not want to hear these things, but hey date rape, prostitution, and golddiggers are all very traditional.

Tip #3. Chivalry isn't dead. Pull out the chair for the lady and help her out of her jacket. Chivalry is one tradition worth keeping.

Tip #4. Tip the waiter. Even if the service was bad.

10% for bad service.
15% for good service.

Tip #5. Polite dinner conversation. There are certain topics you should never discuss at a restaurant while on a date. Politics, religion, abortion, alien conspiracy theories, dead animals, murder, etc. If those topics come up by accident don't avoid the topic, but steer the conversation elsewhere.