When meeting new lovers, especially via online personals, a common thing women do is try to assess whether the person they are meeting is a sexual predator or a violent offender.
Jian Ghomeshi is both, admitting to both choking and slapping women, and then claiming that it was consensual. And yet five women, all women Jian Ghomeshi partnered with in the past, all say that he choked, slapped and physically abused them.
And there are two more women who came forward with allegations, but the crown prosecutors decided their stories lacked enough evidence to hold up in court. So really there should also be:
Plus any other victims who decided not to come forward. 90% of sexual assault victims never come forward. Mathematically that means there is likely 70 victims total and only 7 decided to come forward.
Then you have the friends and co-workers of the women.
Five victims multiplied by the number of people who witnessed bruises, listened to the stories of his victims, and even people who witnessed the abuse first hand but for whatever reason did nothing.
The sheer amount of testimonial evidence against Jian Ghomeshi is staggering, and yet, earlier today he was declared "not guilty" because of a technicality. Two of the victims had communicated to each other and compared what had happened to them, which the judge felt tainted their stories in what happened, and that cast suspicion on the matter of reasonable doubt.
In July 2014 Jian Ghomeshi revealed that he had a teddy bear named Big Ears. He said
the bear helped him deal with his generalized anxiety disorder.
Note - Generalized Anxiety Disorder (or GAD) is characterized by excessive, exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events with no obvious reasons for worry. People with symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder tend to always expect disaster and can't stop worrying about health, money, family, work, or school.
Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder include uncontrollable anxiety, frustration, anger issues, inability to relax, violent outbursts, feeling of being overwhelmed, difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping, muscle aches, jumpy, restless, sudden mood changes, nausea, diarrhea.
Oddly enough the violent outbursts listed in the symptom is considered by some to be helpful, letting the person with GAD release some of their anxiety - which sadly means they might be taking it out on their victims.
The teddy bear apparently helped Jian relax and reduced his symptoms, but it was by no means a cure.
Two of Jian's victims say that after being invited to his house and before he proceeded to assault her, Jian Ghomeshi turned the bear to the wall and said, "Big Ears Teddy shouldn’t see this."
Wow. That is really creepy.
Also, it is the kind of thing people wouldn't make up.
Who would make up a story about being sexually assaulted and saying that their attacker talked to his teddy bear before he proceeded to assault them? Nobody would make up such nonsense.
Lets pretend for a moment that the women really did compare what happened to them, there is logically either one of two options:
#1. Both women really did witness Jian Ghomeshi talk to his teddy bear before sexually assaulting them.
#2. Only one of the women did witness Jian Ghomeshi talk to his teddy bear before sexually assaulting her, and the other woman embellished her story by adding that part.
There really is no third option, because nobody would make up a story about him talking to his teddy bear.
Logically this means that Jian Ghomeshi is guilty. However because the law doesn't always follow the rules of logic, he was found not guilty due to a technicality - which goes to that whole problem of reasonable doubt.
Everyone know Jian Ghomeshi did it, he even admits to it, but he claims it was consensual. Except he has seven victims, 3 of which testified in the court case that ended today. In June a new court case will go forward with 2 more victims.
Logically, after comparing all of the victims and their allegations you start to see a trend, a MO (modus operandi) - which means method of operation. Serial sex offenders tend to change and refine their techniques over the years, often developing a pattern of operation.
In Jian Ghomeshi's case police and lawyers can see a very obvious trend. Get the women alone, slap them, choke them if necessary, and then sexually assault them. No mention of obtaining consent.
In Canada our laws concerning sexual consent are very clear. If the woman says no at any time, it means consent has not been given and anything that occurs afterwards is considered to be a sexual assault.
Multiple women said no. Multiple women came forward with allegations that they had been victimized by a creepy psychopath. And so far Jian Ghomeshi has escaped justice from 3 of those women.
Jian Ghomeshi is not innocent. That much is clear. Not guilty does not mean innocent. Not guilty simply means there isn't enough evidence to convict.
And this ladies is why you should worry about dating any person you believe to have violent tendencies. Jian Ghomeshi included.
Sexual predators are all around us. One in three Canadian women are sexually assaulted at some point in there lifetime, but that doesn't mean that one in three men are doing such horrible things. No, it is the serial sex offenders who have abused 70 or more women that are causing such problems.
Some sex offenders in the system are what should properly be called sex offender addicts. They are addicted to harming other people. It doesn't matter whether they only abuse 10 people or 500 people, they are all addicts.
And Jian Ghomeshi is now known to be one of them.
Before going out on a date with someone you have never met before you really should:
#1. Google their name. Find out if they have any past history of violence or criminal activity. Usually it will be in newspaper articles if they have done something truly violent.
#2. Check their Facebook profile. See if they are posting anything that sets off any warning bells or red flags (or even just general deal breakers relationship wise).
#3. Trust your instincts. If the person does seem creepy to you for whatever reasons, just drop the conversation and give up on them.
There are many more people out there, some of them are like Jian Ghomeshi, but chances are likely that most of them are normal, relatively honest and worth your time.
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