Ashley Madison's Phoney Accounts

Have an affair?

More like: No girls allowed.

A writer for tech news site Gizmodo analyzed the leaked Ashley Madison data and came to the conclusion that, not only are 95% of the women on the site fake accounts, but of those who are likely real, very few logged back in after creating an account.

In short, husbands of the world, breathe easy: there are barely any wives cheating on Ashley Madison.

It's no secret there are overwhelmingly more men than women on the site. And Ashley Madison has confessed that some of its profiles are fake -- "for entertainment" purposes only.

But the recent data breach shows just how many are obviously created to give the impression there are women on the site with whom men can cheat.

Gizmodo writer Annalee Newitz ran the Ashley Madison profiles through scripts that identify "anomalous patterns" and discovered several accounts shared similar e-mail addresses -- including domains -- as well as IP numbers, common names, and other oddities that point to phony accounts.

Even more damning was a check into account use.

Of the roughly 37 million accounts on Ashley Madison, only 1,492 women ever checked their inbox for messages.

"Whatever the answer, the more I examined those 5.5 million female profiles, the more obvious it became that none of them had ever talked to men on the site, or even used the site at all after creating a profile," Newitz wrote.

Which means Ashley Madison was never intended to have people cheating on their spouses - it was designed to bilk men who wanted to cheat on their wives out of money, creating the temptation to cheat, charging them money to talk to "fake women" on the website, and then they never actually meet any women on there.

The entire website is basically a huge scam geared towards bilking money out of men who want to cheat - without ever providing the opportunity to actually do so.

So does that make cheating okay? No. It doesn't. But it certainly teaches all those men a lesson: "Don't cheat or we will take your money."

Which sounds like what a divorce lawyer would say.

Which means that the scene in the cartoon below could never happen, because 99.99% of the women on Ashley Madison are fake.