Can you find happiness and true love in a relationship?
looking for a partner to make you happy or complete you?
relationship less than satisfactory and you are wondering how to improve
Often we find it impossible to meet our dream guy or find happiness
with a man simply because we are looking in the wrong place.
How do we do this? Usually,
by creating a scene and letting him know how upset we are when he
doesn’t behave as we wish. By this he learns that when he exhibits this
behaviour we won’t be pleased and we are certainly going to let him know
it in the future.
If he’s the type of guy that wants to make us happy,
then he stops doing it. Or perhaps he just goes underground and does it
in secret next time. Either way, he is probably going to feel some
resentment towards us.
When our guy is loveable i.e. he is doing what we want and acting in
accordance with our wishes and beliefs, then we find it easy to love
him. But there are also the times that we find this difficult. When he
is not being loveable, we may find ourselves feeling critical of him or
even harbouring unpleasant negative feelings. We may even want him to
suffer, because after all, he has made us suffer, hasn’t he?
So, how do we turn this less than satisfactory situation into true
love and happiness? Well the first step is realising that a man cannot
make you happy, no matter how much he wants to or you want him to.
Whilst you will feel happiness with your partner at times, another
person will never complete you. You see, happiness is a state of mind
and comes from within.
You can see this by considering how you may react to the same
situation depending on how you feel at the time. Imagine your man comes
home from work and he has had a bad day. You ask him to take out the
garbage and he completely ignores you. As he slumps in the chair in
front of the TV you can see that he is feeling bad and you rush over to
help soothe his feelings.
Now, the same thing happens on another day. Only this time you’ve had
a bad day yourself. This time, you were hoping for some comfort from
him. When he ignores you, you feel neglected and unloved. You let him
know how you feel and an argument ensues. Communication breaks down and
the rest of the evening is ruined.
It is about taking
responsibility for your own feelings and not expecting your man to
conform to everything that you want. It is not about the perfect
relationship but about focusing on the positives in the relationship
rather than the negatives.
It is very hard to love someone else unless you love yourself first.
This is because the way you love your man is a reflection of your own
needs and beliefs around love and how it should or shouldn’t be.
Unconditional acceptance of yourself as well as your partner is the only
way to find unconditional love in your life. Of course, this doesn’t
mean that you should put up with a partner who treats you badly.
So, yes you can find happiness in a relationship. But only if you are
happy on your own first. If you are looking for love then you must
start by loving yourself. Unless you can do this you will never be able
to allow love in fully.
You must take responsibility for your own
happiness by examining your own beliefs and reactions and how they serve
you. And you must accept your man and allow him to be the person he is.
Only when all these things come together with a man who loves you and
wants to make you happy will you be able to say that you have found true
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