Five Tips for Restaurant Dates

Tip #1. Never take your date to a fast food restaurant where there is a high chance the staff spit on the food. The only saliva in your date's mouth should be yours and theirs. Find a place more upscale where you are expected to tip the waiter.

Tip #2. On a first date men and women should do two things: (1) Split the bill at the restaurant; (2) Understand that if a man pays for everything and then expects a woman to automatically have sex with him, that basically makes her a prostitute. By splitting the bill (going Dutch) it also makes it clear the woman is interested in the man, and not in his money. If the man pays for everything and becomes really pushy about having sex, that coerciveness technically makes any sex that follows to legally count as "date rape". Smart women pay half. Smart men who want to be loved for being themselves, and not resort to paying for sex / date rape, should also pay half. And if a woman doesn't like it when a man wants to go Dutch, that woman is a golddigger and not worth dating.

Traditionalists may not want to hear these things, but hey date rape, prostitution, and golddiggers are all very traditional.

Tip #3. Chivalry isn't dead. Pull out the chair for the lady and help her out of her jacket. Chivalry is one tradition worth keeping.

Tip #4. Tip the waiter. Even if the service was bad.

10% for bad service.
15% for good service.

Tip #5. Polite dinner conversation. There are certain topics you should never discuss at a restaurant while on a date. Politics, religion, abortion, alien conspiracy theories, dead animals, murder, etc. If those topics come up by accident don't avoid the topic, but steer the conversation elsewhere.

Jian Ghomeshi, the Sexual Predator and why "Not Guilty" does not mean Innocent

When meeting new lovers, especially via online personals, a common thing women do is try to assess whether the person they are meeting is a sexual predator or a violent offender.

Jian Ghomeshi is both, admitting to both choking and slapping women, and then claiming that it was consensual. And yet five women, all women Jian Ghomeshi partnered with in the past, all say that he choked, slapped and physically abused them.

Victim #1

Victim #2

Victim #3
Victim #4

Victim #5

And there are two more women who came forward with allegations, but the crown prosecutors decided their stories lacked enough evidence to hold up in court. So really there should also be:

Victim #6

Victim #7.

Plus any other victims who decided not to come forward. 90% of sexual assault victims never come forward. Mathematically that means there is likely 70 victims total and only 7 decided to come forward.

Then you have the friends and co-workers of the women.

Five victims multiplied by the number of people who witnessed bruises, listened to the stories of his victims, and even people who witnessed the abuse first hand but for whatever reason did nothing.

The sheer amount of testimonial evidence against Jian Ghomeshi is staggering, and yet, earlier today he was declared "not guilty" because of a technicality. Two of the victims had communicated to each other and compared what had happened to them, which the judge felt tainted their stories in what happened, and that cast suspicion on the matter of reasonable doubt.

In July 2014 Jian Ghomeshi revealed that he had a teddy bear named Big Ears. He said the bear helped him deal with his generalized anxiety disorder.

Note - Generalized Anxiety Disorder (or GAD) is characterized by excessive, exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events with no obvious reasons for worry. People with symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder tend to always expect disaster and can't stop worrying about health, money, family, work, or school.

Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder include uncontrollable anxiety, frustration, anger issues, inability to relax, violent outbursts, feeling of being overwhelmed, difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping, muscle aches, jumpy, restless, sudden mood changes, nausea, diarrhea.

Oddly enough the violent outbursts listed in the symptom is considered by some to be helpful, letting the person with GAD release some of their anxiety - which sadly means they might be taking it out on their victims. 

The teddy bear apparently helped Jian relax and reduced his symptoms, but it was by no means a cure.

Two of Jian's victims say that after being invited to his house and before he proceeded to assault her,  Jian Ghomeshi turned the bear to the wall and said, "Big Ears Teddy shouldn’t see this."

Wow. That is really creepy.

Also, it is the kind of thing people wouldn't make up.

Who would make up a story about being sexually assaulted and saying that their attacker talked to his teddy bear before he proceeded to assault them? Nobody would make up such nonsense.

Lets pretend for a moment that the women really did compare what happened to them, there is logically either one of two options:

#1. Both women really did witness Jian Ghomeshi talk to his teddy bear before sexually assaulting them.

#2. Only one of the women did witness Jian Ghomeshi talk to his teddy bear before sexually assaulting her, and the other woman embellished her story by adding that part.

There really is no third option, because nobody would make up a story about him talking to his teddy bear.

Logically this means that Jian Ghomeshi is guilty. However because the law doesn't always follow the rules of logic, he was found not guilty due to a technicality - which goes to that whole problem of reasonable doubt.

Everyone know Jian Ghomeshi did it, he even admits to it, but he claims it was consensual. Except he has seven victims, 3 of which testified in the court case that ended today. In June a new court case will go forward with 2 more victims.

Logically, after comparing all of the victims and their allegations you start to see a trend, a MO (modus operandi) - which means method of operation. Serial sex offenders tend to change and refine their techniques over the years, often developing a pattern of operation.

In Jian Ghomeshi's case police and lawyers can see a very obvious trend. Get the women alone, slap them, choke them if necessary, and then sexually assault them. No mention of obtaining consent.

In Canada our laws concerning sexual consent are very clear. If the woman says no at any time, it means consent has not been given and anything that occurs afterwards is considered to be a sexual assault.

Multiple women said no. Multiple women came forward with allegations that they had been victimized by a creepy psychopath. And so far Jian Ghomeshi has escaped justice from 3 of those women.

Jian Ghomeshi is not innocent. That much is clear. Not guilty does not mean innocent. Not guilty simply means there isn't enough evidence to convict.

And this ladies is why you should worry about dating any person you believe to have violent tendencies. Jian Ghomeshi included.

Sexual predators are all around us. One in three Canadian women are sexually assaulted at some point in there lifetime, but that doesn't mean that one in three men are doing such horrible things. No, it is the serial sex offenders who have abused 70 or more women that are causing such problems.

Some sex offenders in the system are what should properly be called sex offender addicts. They are addicted to harming other people. It doesn't matter whether they only abuse 10 people or 500 people, they are all addicts.

And Jian Ghomeshi is now known to be one of them.

Before going out on a date with someone you have never met before you really should:

#1. Google their name. Find out if they have any past history of violence or criminal activity. Usually it will be in newspaper articles if they have done something truly violent.

#2. Check their Facebook profile. See if they are posting anything that sets off any warning bells or red flags (or even just general deal breakers relationship wise).

#3. Trust your instincts. If the person does seem creepy to you for whatever reasons, just drop the conversation and give up on them.

There are many more people out there, some of them are like Jian Ghomeshi, but chances are likely that most of them are normal, relatively honest and worth your time.

Promocode for Couples Archery Lessons in Toronto


Do you live in Toronto?

Are you and your lover looking for archery lessons? Or maybe you want to give archery lessons as a gift?

Contact to book archery lessons in Toronto between now and December 31st 2015 and use the promocode below to get 10% off your lessons.


The promocode expires at 12:01 AM on January 1st 2016 so if you are looking for a discount on couples archery lessons, go book them now!

The promocode is only valid before January 1st 2016. If you wait until New Years Day to use the code, it is too late.

The promocode can only be used for booking lessons for 2 people (so you could just bring a friend instead if you break up somehow).

For activities to do on a first date, on an anniversary, birthday, or just for fun - archery is pretty difficult to beat.

The Lavishness of Hobby Specific Gifts

By Charles Moffat, Toronto Archery Instructor.

I know multiple men who have spent $300+ on archery equipment for their girlfriends. Why? Because they want their girlfriends to share their love of the sport so that they can go do archery together. Sometimes the girlfriend ends up only using the equipment once or twice before they break up with the guy, sometimes they stay together and end up loving the sport (and spending time together).

I remember about 6 years ago buying a girlfriend rollerblades. She used them ONCE and then never used them again, despite coaxing and pleading. We eventually broke up years later, for different reasons, but the idea of rollerblading together was still stuck in my head.

The concept isn't limited either.
  • Go cycling together = both people need bicycles.
  • Go rollerblading together = both people need rollerblades that fit.
  • Doing archery together = both people need bows, arrows, shooting glove, etc.
  • Rock climbing together = both people need a safety harness, climbing boots, rock climbing gear.
  • Horseback riding together = You are going to need two horses, either rented or owned, plus saddle and possibly horse riding lessons.
  • Fishing together = Two fishing rods and enough fishing tackle for two people (plus food as fishing is time consumingly boring).
  • Knitting together = Enough yarn and knitting needles for two people.
  • Playing PS4 together = Two controllers and games that two people can play together in two player mode.

Sometimes it just happens that one person in the relationship will lavish the other person with "sporting equipment" or other things just so they can do the activity together. Note - I added the knitting needles and PS4 at the end to show that this isn't limited to sports.

Is it really a big deal however? You are introducing the other person to an activity that you love doing, with the hope that they end up loving it too? Is that really so bad? (It isn't like you are introducing them to the life of being a serial killer or something equally grotesque.)

Introducing someone to a new sport can even be quite romantic...

So-Called "Nice Guys" and the Real Reason Why "Nice Guys" Finish Last

By Suzannah Weiss

On the ride home from a date spent struggling through a conversation with a guy I had very little in common with, he turned to me from the driver’s seat and asked, “So, want to do this again some time?”

I was genuinely confused by his suggestion.

He had spent the majority of our dinner at Applebee’s talking about his workout routines and the caloric content of the menu items; I was a Gender and Sexuality Studies student writing my thesis on how gender stereotypes contribute to eating disorders. It seemed like a horrible match.

“Honestly,” I said, “I’m not sure if we’d have much to talk about.”

“Do you mean all of that was for nothing?” he asked, taking me aback. “This always happens.”

“And what girls don’t realize is, I’m actually a nice guy,” he went on. “Most of the guys you dated before, you know, were probably just trying to pop you.” (I still cringe at that phrase.)

The unfortunate thing is, he actually succeeded in guilting me into a second date. At the time, I wasn’t well versed in what a self-identified “nice guy” (also sometimes known in feminist circles as Nice Guys™) actually was: someone who feels entitled to women for his supposed kindness.

I now know that Nice Guy™ behavior– which is based on one’s sense of superiority stemming from one’s “nice guy” status and usually accompanied by indignation when women reject the “nice guy” – is actually a telltale sign that someone is not nice.

While others may exhibit similar behavior, regardless of gender or orientation, “nice guys” are typically men who date women, since the entitlement they feel has misogynistic roots.

Since my first run-in with Nice Guy Syndrome™, I’ve encountered more “nice guys” who use similar arguments to advocate for themselves – statements I now view as red flags.

Here are a few popular claims made by “nice guys” and what you need to know if someone says them to you.

1. ‘You Owe Nice Guys a Chance’

“Nice guys” might claim that they deserve your consideration for being so nice.

We hear this not just from “nice guys” themselves, but also from other people who give us relationship advice. If only you would just give that nice guy a chance, popular wisdom goes, he might surprise you.

The pop culture trope of the dogged nice guy doesn’t help either: Movies and TV are full of “nice” men who finally obtain the leading lady’s affections through perseverance once she realizes how nice he is (think Ross in Friends or Lenny in The Big Bang Theory).

But even if someone actually is nice, you may not want to date him for a number of reasons: You have nothing in common, you’re not attracted to him, you don’t really want to date anyone, and so on.

All these reasons are valid.

Being nice is not a ticket to a date with a person of your choice. And if he believes it is, he doesn’t respect your autonomy – which is not nice.

2. ‘Nice Guys Finish Last – Because Women Like Bad Boys’

“Nice guys” often evoke notions of fairness when they complain about being passed over. One guy I met on OKCupid even told me it was “unjust” that women didn’t respond to his messages.

Sending messages out into the ether is a struggle all OKCupid users can relate to – but most of us don’t consider this paucity of replies “unjust” because we don’t feel entitled to a message in the first place.

As the Tumblr Nice Guys of OKCupid demonstrates, there’s a notable correlation between guys who call themselves “nice” in their profiles and guys with misogynistic entitlement complexes.

Like many of OKCupid’s nice guys, this online dater complained that he gets overlooked while less-nice guys who don’t deserve women’s affections are more popular. This is a widespread stereotype: women like bad boys.

The belief that women like jerks contains hints of misogyny because it stems from the stereotype that women want to be dominated and controlled. While some women may date men who are domineering because our culture prescribes that this is what they should want, “nice guys” often make this accusation against women who aren’t seeking out jerks.

More often, they’re saying “women like bad boys” to discount other reasons women might pass them up. Accusing women of rejecting them just because they’re not jerks is a convenient way for them not to examine themselves.

Regardless, the assumption that people should be awarded dates according to how nice they are, with good people getting many and jerks getting very few, simply doesn’t reflect how dating works. Human beings are not rewards for kindness.

Sometimes, nice people struggle with their love lives. Sometimes, not-so-nice people have an easier time. This may seem unfair, but the whole concept of fairness is irrelevant when personal choices are concerned.

You do not have to be an equal-opportunity dater.

3. ‘Nice Guys Get Stuck in the Friend Zone’

Some men complain that women only want to be their friends when they would make such great boyfriends (better boyfriends, they often point out, than the “bad boys” their friends date).

Once again, pop culture reinforces this belief. The dogged “nice guy” in shows like Friends and The Big Bang Theory is often a friend mistakenly overlooked as a romantic prospect.

Viewers are supposed to think it was dense of the woman to not realize that the love she sought was in front of her the whole time.

And even when the nice guy accepts his “friend” status, he is often rewarded for his patience when she realizes he was what she wanted all along (think of Gordo in Lizzie McGuire).

Stories of friends who get together can be sweet, and unrequited crushes on friends are always painful, but there are plenty of valid reasons not to date a friend. Someone who is a great friend for you may not be the best boyfriend for you, and that’s okay. And even if he could hypothetically be a good boyfriend, you may just not feel that way about him, and that’s okay too.

If someone harbors any hostility toward you for “only” wanting to be his friend, he’s probably not the best friend or boyfriend. Your friendship is not a consolation prize – and the idea of being relegated to friend status hinges on the notion that he was expecting more in the first place.

And his friendship is not a bargaining token. It should be given freely without expecting anything in return except mutual friendship.
4. ‘Nice Guys Are Rare Gems’

“Nice guys” usually oppose themselves to “most guys.”

Like the “nice guy” from my Applebee’s date, they think other men are just trying to manipulate women into sex, while they are the saviors who actually care about women.

The irony is that many of them use this supposed caring to manipulate women into sex or dating.

There are plenty of men who respect the women they date, and they’re rarely found talking about how nice they are. They assume it’s a given that they won’t pressure anyone into sex or otherwise mistreat them. They don’t think they deserve a badge reading “Nice Guy” for that basic courtesy.

Kind men aren’t as rare as so-called “nice guys” would like you to think. They’re just not shouting from the rooftops that they’re “nice guys.”
5. ‘Nice Guys Are Nice for Even Noticing You’

Many women are taught that because of their appearance, race, ability status, or other traits, they are undesirable, so people are doing them a favor for paying any attention to them at all, even if they’re disrespectful or abusive.

“Nice guys” exploit this belief to manipulate women.

For example, a “nice guy” may tell a fat woman she’s lucky to have earned his affections when he could date someone thinner – and that she should put up with his disrespect because she can’t do better.

This tactic isn’t limited to any demographic, though; “nice guys” will use any trick to convince you they’re nice for dating you and you’re lucky to date them.

But you’re never lucky to date someone who feels he is above you.

There are people out there who will not act like they’re doing you a favor and instead will feel as lucky to be with you as you feel to be with them.
6. ‘Practicing Basic Human Decency Makes Me a Nice Guy’

Our culture over-classifies men as nice guys, and the effects of this undue admiration are dangerous.

Our low standards for men manifest in a number of ways: In addition to applauding men for taking on parenting duties that are expected of women, we praise them for sexual conduct that should be mandatory, not praiseworthy.

I remember seeing a movie called Fish Tank with a guy I was dating in college. In one scene, the main character – a teenage girl – was partially undressed and asleep. When her mom’s boyfriend tucked her in, paused as if considering doing more, then left, my date turned to me and said, “Oh, he’s a good guy.”

I was confused. If refraining from sexual assault makes someone a “good guy,” what do regular guys do?

If my date’s own behavior was any indication, believing that basic human decency makes someone a “good guy” means that men can get away with a whole lot before becoming bad guys.

I learned this later that day, when we were hanging out in my room.

We started kissing, as we’d done before, and when he reached for my shirt button, I told him I wasn’t ready for that – something I’d told him before. After I thought that was settled, I saw a lascivious grin on his face and realized he had unbuttoned my shirt without me noticing. After I pulled away, he apologized.

“At least you stopped,” I reassured him, confused myself about what was and wasn’t acceptable.

“I guess it’s just a guy thing,” he replied.

It made sense, really. If someone who cares about consent is a nice guy, someone who doesn’t is just a guy.

Men deemed nice guys for refraining from sexual assault are all over the media. In Animal House, when a girl is about to sleep with one of the protagonists but then passes out drunk, a devil and angel appear on his shoulder. “Fuck her brains out!” the devil yells, but he opts for the angel’s position and takes her home. The implication: Not raping is angelic. Another implication: It takes willpower not to rape.

Men who praise other men for not raping hold an attitude that may actually make them more likely to be sexually abusive: that sexual assault is an impulse, and resisting it requires moral fortitude.

A truly nice person does not have the impulse to rape. He views sexual assault as a crime and a trauma, not an unfortunate slip-up, and certainly not as a “guy thing.”

When we praise men for practicing basic codes of conduct like consent, we make failure to adhere to these standards the norm.
7. ‘Nice Guys Are Nice’

Because they hold all the beliefs above, “nice guys” are not kind people.

They manipulate, objectify, and sometimes abuse women, all while using their “nice guy” status to excuse their own behavior.

And at their extreme, “nice guys” can be violent.

Last year, a 22-year-old man killed several people and himself because, like many “nice guys,” he found it unjust that women did not show him interest.

“I’ve been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection, and unfulfilled desires all because girls have never been attracted to me,” he complained in a video he taped before the shooting. “Girls gave their affection and sex and love to other men, but never to me.”

While it’s unclear what other factors contributed to this horrific crime, he impeccably fit the profile of the “nice guy.” He described himself as an “ideal, magnificent gentleman” who deserved the attention of women who went after jerks instead.

While most ramifications of the “nice guy’s” attitude are less extreme, this incident demonstrates how the beliefs held by nice guys can be hurtful at best and truly dangerous at worst.


Whether Nice Guy Syndrome™ manifests as arguing with a woman on the way home from a date, touching her without her permission, or committing a violent crime, it dehumanizes women.

In a “nice guy’s” world, women are merely rewards for decent behavior, and the standards for decent behavior are very low.

One tell-tale sign that someone’s not a nice guy is that he tries to use his “nice guy” status as leverage to get what he wants or evidence that he deserves it. He may simply complain about a dearth of messages in his OKCupid inbox, but he could also be capable of worse.

I learned this the hard way. I didn’t feel empowered to stand up to “nice guys” because I felt guilty for hurting their feelings. But they don’t deserve our guilt.

You always have the right to say “no” when someone tries to pressure you into a situation you don’t like. If he makes you feel like you owe him anything, the shame is on him, not you. Despite what he says, he doesn’t have the moral high ground.

Fortunately, genuinely nice people know this.

You’ll know you’ve found a truly nice guy when you feel no obligation toward him and no remorse for rejecting him. He will demand no explanation for your decision not to date or sleep with him because he respects your autonomy. He’d rather make sure you feel safe than make sure he feels desired. And when he is desired, your desire will be genuine, not something forced out of you by manipulative lies.

These guys are worth waiting for, but they don’t deserve a badge of honor. They’re simply offering you basic respect. And despite what “nice guys” might say, you deserve that respect and owe nothing in return.

Ashley Madison's Phoney Accounts

Have an affair?

More like: No girls allowed.

A writer for tech news site Gizmodo analyzed the leaked Ashley Madison data and came to the conclusion that, not only are 95% of the women on the site fake accounts, but of those who are likely real, very few logged back in after creating an account.

In short, husbands of the world, breathe easy: there are barely any wives cheating on Ashley Madison.

It's no secret there are overwhelmingly more men than women on the site. And Ashley Madison has confessed that some of its profiles are fake -- "for entertainment" purposes only.

But the recent data breach shows just how many are obviously created to give the impression there are women on the site with whom men can cheat.

Gizmodo writer Annalee Newitz ran the Ashley Madison profiles through scripts that identify "anomalous patterns" and discovered several accounts shared similar e-mail addresses -- including domains -- as well as IP numbers, common names, and other oddities that point to phony accounts.

Even more damning was a check into account use.

Of the roughly 37 million accounts on Ashley Madison, only 1,492 women ever checked their inbox for messages.

"Whatever the answer, the more I examined those 5.5 million female profiles, the more obvious it became that none of them had ever talked to men on the site, or even used the site at all after creating a profile," Newitz wrote.

Which means Ashley Madison was never intended to have people cheating on their spouses - it was designed to bilk men who wanted to cheat on their wives out of money, creating the temptation to cheat, charging them money to talk to "fake women" on the website, and then they never actually meet any women on there.

The entire website is basically a huge scam geared towards bilking money out of men who want to cheat - without ever providing the opportunity to actually do so.

So does that make cheating okay? No. It doesn't. But it certainly teaches all those men a lesson: "Don't cheat or we will take your money."

Which sounds like what a divorce lawyer would say.

Which means that the scene in the cartoon below could never happen, because 99.99% of the women on Ashley Madison are fake.

10 Tips to Dating Asian People in Canada

Okay, so let us pretend for a moment you meet an Asian woman or man - and you are white and born/raised in Canada. This happens quite often amongst young people living in Canada's multicultural cities, but many of these relationships end because they feel they are "too different" and ignores the possibility that these two people might be perfect together, but their cultures won't let them.

So if you want to have a serious relationship with someone who is Asian (or African, or Middle Eastern, or Kryptonian - honestly, these tips will help any couple with a case of Culture Shock Love). Here are the tips:

#1. Meet their friends first, before you meet their family members. This is an important stepping stone in a relationship (any relationship). It shows you are serious about the relationship.

#2. Find the things you have in common - sports you both do, activities you both, a love of art / art galleries, and build upon that connection. So for example if you are in Toronto and you both love visiting art galleries make a weekly effort to go many of Toronto's art galleries. This connection will cement the idea that you two really do have things in common and are not so different as society would like you to believe.

#3. Avoid Stereotypes and Pitfalls - Jokes or comments about martial arts, jokes that start with "Confucius say", etc. You should also try to avoid the following things:
  • Guessing his or her ethnicity based on their appearance. Guessing is rude, but you shouldn't just assume either.
  • Asking "So what is your real name?" Isabel might be her real name her parents gave her.
  • Bow in an Asian manner. You're not in Asia so stop bowing. Do that when you visit his parents in China.
  • Say anything like "You're pretty strong for an Asian guy" or "Wow, you sure drink a lot for an Asian chick". If you don't know why that is wrong, you should not be dating them.
  • Spend way too much time checking our her hair. Straight black hair is not such a big deal.
  • Tell her about all the other Asian girls you dated. You wouldn't do this with a white girl, so don't do it with an Asian girl.
  • Don't assume that his family is poor. While it might have been true in the past that Asian immigrants were poor, these days it is the opposite. Asian immigrants coming to Canada these days are often quite wealthy or at least well-to-do.
#4. Do NOT Get Language Lessons - Honestly, this is one of the worst things you can do. At least don't do this in the first 6 months. Don't even mention the idea. This is something you do later, after the relationship is already serious and you are perhaps even living together.

#5. Don't assume that because they are Asian that they speak other Asian languages too - like asking a Japanese person if they also speak Korean or Chinese. In fact, don't assume they even speak Japanese unless they say they do.

#6. Don't Make A Big Deal of your Language Skills - Lets pretend you already know how to speak Japanese, Korean, Mandarin, Cantonese, Vietnamese, etc. Regardless of your level of knowledge, avoid making a big deal about it. Your relationship together should not be based on the fact that you already speak semi-fluent Japanese.

#7. Don't Correct their English unless they ask you to. Yes, they might still be learning, but you don't need to be constantly correcting their English unless they want that extra help.

#8. Treat them like you would any other person. The mistakes people make in Culture Shock relationships is that they make a big deal out of the differences, and this plants the idea that you really are too different to be together. And it is not the culture that is at stake here, it is your obsession with the different cultural differences and treating them differently because of it that will drive you two apart.

#9. Don't watch TV shows like "Fresh Off The Boat" together. Yes, it is a funny show, but watching that together is just weird.

However watching a TV show like "The Walking Dead", which has an interracial couple in it as part of the main cast - but they are not the primary focus of the show, is okay.

On the other hand, watching a show like Marco Polo - that show is over the line. So don't go there.

#10. Don't go to Asian restaurants unless they suggest it first. Go to normal restaurants. Showing an obsession with wanting to visit Asian restaurants all the time indicates you are more interested in his or her background and skin colour than you are in them as a person.

BONUS TIP - When introducing them to your parents, don't mention what their ethnic background is. Their first name is enough. Mention what they do for a living or what they are studying in school - the same things you would do for any other person.

The end result?

Treat them like a person. Treating people differently because of their ethnic background in insensitive and will result in them feeling like you don't really care about them as a person. Show that you care about who they are and that will show you are serious about a relationship with them as a person. - New Domain Name

Yesterday we registered, our new Domain Name. We did so because the website recently surpassed 90,000 hits and we figured we should get a proper domain name before we reach the big 100,000 mark - which we should reach in the next 2 or 3 months.

As such we will continue to bring people relationship advice, reviews on personals websites, how to guides and more - but we will be bringing a more Canadian-centric perspective to some of our posts with articles like "10 Hot Places for Dates in Toronto", "7 Great Romantic Getaways in Canada", "Where are the Best Romantic Restaurants in Montreal?", "Americans Dating Canadians - The Woes of Long Distance Relationships", and even reviews of movies (rom coms, aka romantic comedies) showing in Canada. This is nothing new as we have mentioned Canada and various Canadian cities / locations in the past, but we will be adding more Canadian-centric articles in the future.

And as usual will continue to post humour and our dose of relationship wit as well.

The photo below is from the Old Mill Hotel in Toronto.

Badoo Sucks and I will tell you why

When I bought my last cellphone it came with an app on it called Badoo, which is a dating / personals app designed to help attractive people meet other attractive people who live nearby - with no value based on personality and only a tiny bit based on their interests.

Having been on Badoo for 2.5 years now I have long since concluded that Badoo (both the app and the website) suck at matching people up. And I shall explain why.

#1. The app is mostly for sharing photos, something you could do on Twitter or Facebook. The difference is that if your photos don't show your face then they get deleted. So photos of you doing anything or wearing anything that obscures your face will automatically get deleted. What does get shown however is lots of mirror selfies, selfies and boring headshots - and only those that get voted on and get high votes for attractiveness are shown. That means all the personality is taken out and what is left is juried acceptability.

#2. There is no section to talk about yourself. This is a big part of other personals websites / apps like POF or OK Cupid. On Badoo you are being asked to judge people almost solely on their looks, which means you are guessing their personality based upon appearance - which as we all know is a highly inaccurate method.

#3. There is a small section for interests where people often state they like Music or Laughing or many other things that basically everyone likes doing. For fun I should go on there and add that I like Money and Free Stuff, because everyone likes having those things too.

#4. Communication sucks too. One of the things the app / website does is it lets people know when someone else likes them, but if you want to communicate with them you have to pay for it. Another feature is when two people like each others photos it lets you know that you both turned your keys effectively, and you can communicate for free, but to do so you need to overcome the awkwardness of "So... We both liked the other person's photo but I know diddly squat about your personality. How do I know you are not a psycho?"

#5. The more you use Badoo the more you realize POF and OK Cupid are infinitely better. Badoo is basically a time waster for looking at photos, rarely communicating with people and the chances of you meeting one of them in person is nil because it is by far the creepiest app to have a conversation on. POF and OK Cupid at least have personality profiles to base a conversation on and thereby avoid the awkward creepiness.

As a review, I give Badoo 0 stars out of 5. It doesn't deserve a single star and it is past time I deleted it from my phone.

In contrast I give POF 4 stars out of 5 and OK Cupid 5 stars out of 5.

Valentines is coming, Rose Colour Meanings + Bizarre Black Tar Rose

Today is February 1st which means Valentines is coming soon.

Which means your lover may try to get you some roses. (I like chocolate roses myself, when you are tired of looking at them you can just eat them. What girl or guy wouldn`t want chocolate roses???)

But lets pretend you are more of a traditionalist who wants something more meaningful?

Or maybe you're single and have decided to spend Valentines with a single friend (just friends) and you want to get them something that signifies friendship. Hint hint, yellow roses = friendship.

The Meaning of Rose Colours

Colours have profound meanings to us in society.  Throughout history colours have been used to signify royalty or high standing (purple in Ancient Rome) or purity (white is the first choice for religious groups in many different societies).  Colours have significant psychological effects on us and can change our mood, our energy and our emotions.  This same principle has been applied to roses over the years.  When one gives a rose to another person they are not just giving a flower, they are also conveying a coded meaning that can be deciphered by looking at the colour of the rose.  Most people know that red roses mean 'I Love You', but does it mean anything else and what do the other colours mean?

Red Roses

When we think of roses we always think of a red rose and it is the most common rose given on Valentine's day.  Red roses are meant to convey the following meanings: passion, beauty, courage and respect.  With so many connotations it is no wonder the red rose is used so much.  It can be used to tell a person that you have fallen in love with them or to tell another person that you are proud that they graduated from college.

Orange Roses

Being a mix of yellow and red, orange roses are more rare and signify love. This doesn't mean they are the "friends with benefits roses", orange roses are a mix of both friendship and love and therefore to be cherished.

Yellow Roses

Friendship! Huzzah! Really only useful on Valentines if you want to give them to a friend who is just a friend in every sense of the word. None of this "friends with benefits" nonsense.

Pink Roses

Pink roses are used to tell another that you appreciate them, to convey grace and to describe a feeling of happiness. Pink roses are used to indicate platonic feelings of caring and joy.  You might give pink roses to your grandmother on her birthday to show that you care and enjoy her company.

Blue Roses

Blue roses are actually just white roses which have been dyed blue. They signify intelligence, creativity and uniqueness.

Lavender Roses

Lavender roses are a rare type and are not usually thought of at all when one thinks of roses.    When one gives a lavender rose to another the giver is telling the recipient that they have fallen in love at first sight or that they are enchanted with the recipient.  You may want to give it on a first date to express your infatuation to your hopefully future girlfriend or boyfriend.

White Roses

Signify purity, marriage, children, a bond of family.

Turkish Black Rose during the summer months.

Turkish Black Rose when not in season.
Black Roses

A black rose is extremely rare.  In fact, there is only one variety and it can be found only in Turkey.  It is called the Halfati rose, named after the village that is grown in, and is truly black only in the summer months.  In the other seasons that rose appears to be deep crimson.  The rose only grows in that region because of the particular pH balance found near the Euphrates river.  It will only last for 1 week when cut.  To the Turks, the Halfati rose represents deep passion and death, so the rose could be given to a lover or as a warning to your enemies (try not to mix them up).

Given the extreme rarity of the Halfati rose, it may be a good idea to try to find other sources of black roses if you are so inclined to give them. eg. You could dye them black somehow. A local flat roofing company may be your best bet.  They can make a black rose for you by dipping a rose in roof tar in mere seconds.  The result is a black rose that will last forever.  Though it may not smell as good as the  Halfati rose, it will be much easier on your wallet.

I found out about the black tar roses on the Arob 12 website, but if you want to try making your own then I recommend reading How to make Black Roses using Roofing Tar.

I also found another source that tried using some kind of waterproofing material from a basement waterproofing company, but the results from their experiment ended up looking horrible so I don't recommend trying to make a black rose that way.

Honestly, given the choices, I would personally probably go for the chocolate roses made from chocolate icing.

Funny Text Message Breakups

"It is not ewe, it is mi. Aye think we shud brake up."

"You were mean to my cat so I am breaking up with you."

"I will give you two choices. Either we can break up or I can cheat on you. Pick one."

"I can't stand it when guys whine during breakups so I have decided to just stop talking to you."

"How do I block someone on my phone? Namely you?"

"I think you and I could have been friends in another lifetime. What say we just be friends in another lifetime okay?"

"I have decided I want to see other people who are more attractive than you."

"You aren't funny or smart enough. I need someone who is witty, not twitty."

"So... wanna have breakup sex?"

"I have concluded you never bathe and I can't date Pigpen."

"You are a sex god(dess) and I don't want to be in a relationship based solely on sex."

"I cheated on you and got a STD. I think we should break up."

"Remember how we discussed having a threesome with another woman? Well I tried it without you and I have decided I prefer women over men."

"You wouldn't let me cut your hair so I am breaking up with you."

"I am leaving the country and going to Splitsvanistan. Goodbye."

"You and me were never meant to be so I think we should forget it ever happened."

"I think we should make like a banana and split."

"Break ups are hard, but it is much easier for me if I just end it now via text message."

"You kiss like an overly friendly dog and now I have fleas. If you come near me again I am calling the pound."

"I wish we could reverse time and never go out."

"Monkeys kiss better than you do. Maybe you should date a chimp instead."

"I found your p*** collection. You are so dumped."

"I need a man who is more like Mr Grey. You and me are Fifty Shades of Splitsville."

"What does you, me and Ukraine have in common?"

"I thought you and I would never break up but that was before I found out you were a loser."

"How dare you make fun of Mr Darcy! He is the perfect man and you are a loser who just got dumped."

"Sorry I don't go out on 2nd dates with losers who get dumped on the first date."

"You broke up with me before via text message so I am dumping you via text message so you can see what it is like."

7 Great Romantic Getaways in Canada

1. Lover's Arch, New Brunswick

Lover's Arch at the Hopewell Rocks in New Brunswick has to be one of best locations in Eastern Canada for geology lovers. Experiencing all that natural beauty is sure to bring a rock-loving couple closer together.

2. Le Grand Cru, Quebec

Enjoy dinner for two on Le Grand Cru. Cruise along lovely Lake Memphrémagog on this luxury excursion boat while you sip on fine wine, enjoy top-notch cuisine and take in the beauty that surrounds Quebec's Eastern Townships.

3. Banff Upper Hot Springs, Alberta

Experience the 1930s alpine charm at the Banff Upper Hot Springs in Alberta and go skiing with your lover as you take in the breathtaking views. Soak with your sweetie in natural steamy hot spring water surrounded by big blue skies and stunning views of the Rockies.

4. Reesor Ranch, Saskatchewan

Reesor Ranch in Saskatchewan's Cypress Hills offers a kickback cowboy experience perfect for any city slicker, especially couples who want to try something new and authentic.

5. Blachford Lake Lodge, Northwest Territories

Travel by dogsled – and take a turn at driving the dog team yourself – from Blachford Lake Lodge, near Yellowknife, NWT, to one of its heated prospector tents for an overnight camp out. Definitely more for couples who love a rustic getaway and a new experience!

6. Sonora Resort, British Columbia

The view as you fly by helicopter into British Columbia's Sonora Resort – one of the country's finest when it comes to marrying the best in wilderness and luxury – is catch-your-breath beautiful. Bald eagles and grizzly bears are often spotted, so keep your eyes peeled as you fly closer.

7. CN Tower EdgeWalk, Ontario

Toronto's thrilling new EdgeWalk at the CN Tower is definitely not for the faint of heart. But for couples (or even newlyweds) who love a good rush of heart-pounding excitement – and who have no fear of heights – this is a must do.

Attractiveness, Kissing and Oral Health

First let us start with an image on how to kiss with braces... the answer? French kissing and use lots of tongue. Avoid having the teeth even near each other.

Otherwise the next step is to talk about oral health.

Seriously, would you date someone who has bad teeth? Would you kiss someone who has teeth that look like they were a chain smoker who never brushed their teeth EVER???

I call it the Bad Teeth Bogus Photo Problem. They look fine in their photos on the personals website, but when you meet them in person you discover they never showed their teeth in any of the photos online. It is just as bad as people who photoshop their images or people who use old photos of themselves from 10+ years ago.

Be honest, if you're like me then you'd probably look at their teeth and then start looking for a way to get away from them. ("So... do you like Hannibal Lecter? Because I love Silence of the Lambs and all those movies. Serial killers are awesome." That should scare them away quickly.)

And then there is the matter that bad teeth is a strong indicator that the person has problems with cleaning and doing chores. After all, if they cannot be bothered to brush their teeth regularly how often do they shower, take out the garbage, vacuum the floors, do their laundry, exercise, etc. People who are lazy about their teeth are often lazy about other factors in their life - which makes them poor choices when you are looking for a long term partner.

So what can you do to improve the quality of your teeth? Well the following page: Oral Health connected to Overall Health gives a list of 12 things to do to improve your teeth.

#1. Brush 2 to 3 times daily.

#2. Floss daily.

#3. Eat healthier meals that contain less sugar.

#4. Eat healthier snacks in-between meals.

#5. Rinse out your mouth regularly with anti-bacterial mouthwash.

#6. Chew sugar-free gum (removes bacteria from your mouth).

#7. If you are a smoker, stop smoking.

#8. Replace your toothbrush every 3 to 4 months.

#9. Schedule dental checkups regularly.

#10. Find a dentist you actually LIKE (this improves your odds of going there).

#11. Contact your dentist immediately if you have an oral health emergency. Don't delay and wait for it to get worse.

#12. If you don't have dental insurance from your workplace, look into getting dental insurance.

The above mentioned page mentions Archer Dental, a local Toronto dentist which has two locations in Rosedale and Runnymede - was voted the Best Dentist in 2013 by NOW Magazine, has 4 stars on Yelp, and is listed as The Best Dentist in Toronto by Product Reviews Canada. So if you're looking for a good dentist, start with the best.

After all when it comes to first dates and first kisses, attractiveness and nice teeth really are important. Why not put your best effort into keeping your teeth healthy and attractive?

Would you date a deaf person?


Years ago I dated a deaf girl. For me this was not too big of a deal, as I already have hearing difficulties. So it was like one deaf person who knew sign language dating one partially deaf person who was learning sign language. Communication for us was not the problem. What I discovered early in the relationship it was her religiousness and clingy-ness that bothered me. Being religious and clingy is not a good combination.

Communication for us included a combination of sign language and writing / typing things down when it was too complicated to discuss using my limited knowledge of sign language. Note - I studied sign language for years before I met her. My interest in sign language dated back to making a male friend in university who was deaf and this sparked my interest in learning the language.

For me, since I have suffered from hearing damage since the age of 12, learning sign language also seemed like a logical step in case I ever needed it in the future. What if I went deaf sometime in the future and was no longer able to communicate so easily. I would need to learn how to read lips, sign language and so forth.

Much more likely I am probably going to need hearing aids as I get older, in which case I am in luck because I already know an audiologist in Mississauga, who has a hearing clinic in Oakville and another hearing center in Vaughan near Woodbridge. Very nice guy who checked my ears over a year ago to see how bad the damage had gotten.

At the time I was single and I began thinking "What if I went deaf? Who would date a deaf guy?" Well obviously deaf women would be willing to date me, but that really limits my options.

In the past during first dates I have sometimes mentioned my hearing difficulties and I have found that some women react poorly to the idea of dating a guy whom they would sometimes have to repeat what they said in a louder voice or stop mumbling so much.

The one girl got really upset when I explained that she mumbles a bit and that it was difficult for me to hear exactly what she was saying. Which is perhaps understandable. Maybe she got teased as a child for having a speech impediment.

In which case you would think she would have more sympathy for the kid who got teased for having hearing difficulties. But apparently not.

I don't mind telling the story of how my hearing got damaged. It is a funny story involving trespassing and someone shooting at me. If the topic of funny stories comes up it is a story I am not ashamed to tell.

But I do wonder if some women react badly to the idea of dating someone who is either deaf or has hearing damage.

I also firmly believe that if I wore a hearing aid that this would be considered a flaw in my visual appearance by some women and they would refuse to date a person who wears a hearing aid.

So my question for people out there is

"Would you date a person who is deaf or has hearing difficulties? Why or why not?"

Please leave your answers in the comments.

5 Ways to Spot if your Date is a Serial Killer

Awhile back I wrote a post titled "5 Ways to Spot a Serial Dater" during which I commented that I should make a post titled "5 Ways to Spot if your Date is a Serial Killer".

So yes, here it is...

#1. You are on the date and you notice your date is carrying surgical gloves.

#2. He or she invites you over and then goes down into the dark, gloomy basement - and is gone for unusually long periods of time. (Tip: Don't go down there!)

#3. They are unusually clean - like beyond OCD clean, I am talking like Hannibal Lecter clean. Call it one of those weird hallmarks of serial killers, they are unusually fastidious. They make "Mr Clean" look dirty and normal.

#4. The person you are dating is "too good to be true", lives alone, owns property and has lots of disposable income - which means they have lots of land to bury the bodies, lots of money to buy weapons/tasers/pepperspray/etc...  and yet they're wasting their time with you??? Something is wrong!

#5. They drive a plain white van with blacked out windows. That is probable cause right there.


Halloween is a great time of year to meet New Lovers

Want to meet a potential new lover?

Start by going to Halloween parties.

And actually put some effort into your Halloween costume.

You can even go to Halloween themed events hosted by various local clubs.

For example you could go to Spooky Poetry Night, hosted by the Toronto Poetry Club on October 30th.

RSVP by visiting :)

The Instant Connection

If you've experienced what it is like to meet someone and have an instant connection (sometimes known as love at first sight) then you will understand that sometimes people also get impatient and kiss on that first date.

Recently I read an article titled "Is it wrong to kiss on the first date?" in which the author claimed she followed two rules:

#1. She doesn't kiss until at least the third date.

#2. She doesn't have sex until the 6th or 7th date (depending on comfort level).

To which I responded to by thinking about every long term relationship I have ever had and have since concluded the person who wrote the above mentioned article has a very different set of rules.

1997-1998 - Kissed on the first date.

1999-2000 - Kissed on the first date.

2000 - Kissed on the second date.

2001 - Kissed on the first date.

2001-2003 - Kissed on the first date.

2003-2009 - Kissed on the first date.

2010-2011 - Kissed on the first date.

2011-2012 - Kissed on the first date.

2013-Present - Kissed on the first date.

I don't kiss and tell so I will also just vaguely say that more than 1 of these long term relationships involved some sort of sexual activity (light petting or more) on the first date or within the first 3 dates.

You may notice also that in 2000 I had one date where we kissed on the second date instead of the first. That relationship only lasted 5 months and was comparatively short as long term relationships go. (Maybe it should be classified as a mid term relationship?)

You may recall I even wrote an article awhile back on the topic of Three Dates Equals Sex. Which basically goes to the concept that if you haven't had sex by the 3rd date, then the other person will probably get bored of you because they are not feeling a connection.

People want that Instant Connection. They want Love at First Sight or whatever you want to call it.

It has been my experience that relationships that last only 1 or 2 dates have little or no physical or emotional attachment to go with them. People get bored of the other person because they aren't getting that Instant Connection / Love at First Sight feeling.

That said however, I should point out that you should ONLY kiss someone during a first date if you are actually getting that feeling.

And if you still are not getting that feeling by the 2nd date, it is time to let the other person know you just aren't feeling it for them. If you are certain it will never happen after the first date, let them know immediately. No point wasting their time / hurting their feelings.

And don't be a jerk and just plain avoid them. Refusing to answer emails, texts or phone calls is just lame and shows you have a complete lack of empathy for other people. It is cold and heartless.

Tell them you are not interested in a 2nd date, let them down easy and wish them best of luck.

"Sorry I am not interested in a 2nd date. I wish you best of luck however." Easy. Short enough to go in a text message if you are too cowardly to tell them any other way.

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